Since ‘07 I’ve been keeping journals of my deepest, most complicated thoughts ever. Whether it be a simple cute text that I thought I’d write down for memory, or how I’m coping with one’s toughest situations in the game called Life - my life, that is. In each notebook I have gone through so many phases… mostly depression.
As I’m reading these full written pages, I’m thinking to myself, what in the galaxy was I thinking?! Wait, that’s right; I wasn’t thinking. I jot down whatever it is that is rushing through my cranium at that exact moment just to release it as I write. I’d feel ten times lighter afterwards.
It may not have washed the problems away but at least I wasn’t holding it in. Though, I did let whatever get the best of me because my last resort was to end my life right there. Yeah, I wrote that one down. Reading it made me feel weak to my knees again. Stupid right? Never in my life would I ever want to relive that moment. One day, I would like to burn these notebooks but as of now, it’s going to be continued.
Holy shat! When I used to write…sigh